STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
