I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
