As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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