the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
