Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
