Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize