Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
