Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
