OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
