My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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