uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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