Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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