haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
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