We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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