She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
