my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize