I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
