i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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