dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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