Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
