So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
