roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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