I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
please come you make the beer taste better
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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