How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
