I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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