doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
