12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
