dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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