we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
