I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
