Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
