I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
