I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
