every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize