how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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