I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
