I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
