okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
