I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize