Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
