2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
