Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think my vagina is haunted
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
