he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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