sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
