I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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