How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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