ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
