he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
