Where is the hickey?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize