I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
