Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
