it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
