We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
