It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize