where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
