My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize