Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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