I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it hurts more in the daytime
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
