I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
