my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
