Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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