Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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