im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize