Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize