i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
