you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
