i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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